Love That Is Hoarded
by tenrousei-kuroi
Summary: Sirius Black has returned to his family, and one summer he takes his brother out to a family summer estate under the pretense of getting some much-needed fresh air. Wanting answers, James Potter tracks down his ex-best friend. Title credit: Louis Ginsburg


Summary: Sirius Black has returned to his family. One July he takes his younger brother and cousin to the Black family summer house under the pretense of getting some much-needed fresh air. James Potter tracks him down.

Pairings: none

Story notes: Sirius-Regulus age difference has been greatly altered. I found this little one shot knocking around on my computer the other day. I don't remember if I had greater plans for it or not. I think I wrote this during my James/Sirius phase (around the same time I cranked out _A Suspended Sequence of Events_). Rating for brief, mild language. Title credit and one paraphrased line at towards the end credited to Louis Ginsburg.

* * *

Sirius's father really was terrible when it concerned paperwork. Sirius sighed and rifled through the disorganized swamp of documents strewn about his work desk. None of the banking statements were dated, signatures were missing, and Sirius could find no records pertaining to Regulus's savings account whatsoever.

"Figures…" Sirius grumbled to himself before starting a list of people he would need to talk with to get this all sorted out: the bank, his uncle Alphard, the family financer…

Orion Black was laid up in bed with a nasty cold. Centuries of inbreeding had left him and many other members of the Black family with compromised immune systems. This left Sirius in charge of things until the man was up and about again. Normally such tasks would rest on his mother's shoulders, but Walburga Black had been called away to France by the ministry to sort out business of some kind.

"When did we purchase a car?" Sirius asked himself in wonder as he pawed through a stack of receipts. "Must've been—"

A crash from down the hall startled Sirius from his thoughts. Aggravated, he got up and stuck his head out of the musty study.

"Regulus!" he hollered. He heard frantic whispering and then silence.

"Regulus Arcturus," he growled.

"Yes?" came a timid response from the next room over.

"Are you two okay in there?" asked Sirius.

"We're fine," Regulus assured him, still yelling from behind a closed door. "And nothing broke."

"I've got a lot of work to do, Regulus. If you and Rabastan can't be quiet, then you need to go outside."

Sirius retreated into the study, but left the door propped open. Part of him couldn't blame Regulus for being rambunctious; their parents so rarely permitted him to be loud or unruly that it tended to bottle up. Sirius had to remind himself that he had taken Regulus to this summer estate so that he could get away from their stuffy family for a while and enjoy the summer. So what if he and their cousin were a little loud?

Rabastan had been a last minute addition to Sirius's plans. Rodolphus had been visiting Sirius's sick father and overheard him and Sirius talking. He'd leapt at the opportunity to pawn Rabastan off on Sirius for a while. Sirius had foolishly thought that some company might keep Regulus occupied, but as things turned out, it just made him twice as destructive.

Sirius dug back into his papers. If he could just get these all sorted out for his father…Sirius had been trying to endear himself to his parents these last few months. While Regulus had welcomed him back into the family with open arms, Orion and Walburga had been a bit more skeptical. The harder he worked the please them, the better his chances that all would be forgiven.

Sirius couldn't explain even to himself why he had suddenly gone back. A terrible feeling of emptiness (and of wrongness) had just hit him all of the sudden. Like homesickness, the terrible feelings had abated the instant he set foot back in Grimmauld Place, and he'd felt positively giddy when he was allowed to stay there.

After his theatrical departure at age sixteen, it had seemed like that bridge had been burned. Sirius had taken the opportunity to sneak himself back into the family fold when his little brother was injured playing Quidditch. Sirius had escorted him home for a brief recovery stay. Once there, he'd walked his parents through every detail of Reggie's medication and patient care. When his mother asked what he'd been doing up at the school, Sirius explained that the headmaster had allowed him back on campus to watch Regulus's game. Never mind that it was the first time Sirius had so much as set eyes on his brother since graduation, but that one display of familial affection had been all it had taken to start wheedling his way back into the Nobel and Most Ancient House of Black. Regulus in particular had acted as though Sirius was suddenly his hero again. Unsurprising as the first thing Regulus had seen when he woke up in the hospital wing was his brother standing over him.

"_Sirius?" he'd said, amazed. "Why am I here? What are you doing here?"_

"_Sh, you were fouled during your game and got hurt. You're in the hospital now and they're going to send you back to Mum and Dad for a few days to rest. I'm going to take you home later."_

"_You came to my game?" Regulus had asked. _

_Sirius smiled. "I wanted to see you play, and to talk to you afterwards. I'm coming home, Reggie, and I wanted to tell you first."_

Regulus had forgiven Sirius's three-year absence in all of three minutes, but then Sirius supposed that was just how twelve-year olds worked sometimes.

"S—Sirius?"

Sirius looked up and saw his brother standing timidly in the doorway.

"What do you need?" Sirius asked kindly.

"Are you mad at me?" asked Regulus. He seemed to want to come inside but didn't dare.

"No, Regulus," Sirius explained. "Just be careful and don't break anything, okay?"

Regulus hung his head. "I lied to you earlier," he whispered. "Rabastan and I did break something—one of the old phonographs."

Sirius sighed. "I'll see if I can fix it later, just go outside for now."

"Will you come with?" asked Regulus hopefully.

"Maybe later," said Sirius. "I have to finish fixing all this paperwork…as a favor to Father."

At the mention of their father, Regulus bit his lip and nodded. He put a sleeve to his mouth and chewed lightly on it, a worry-habit he'd had since he was small.

"Don't do that, Regulus," Sirius reprimanded. "Those are expensive robes…which reminds me, you need to change before you go rolling around in the grass," he added, standing up. "Father will kill me if you stain those, they were expensive…and I just told you to take them out of your mouth."

"M'sorry," Regulus obeyed and dropped his arm to his side. "Does Rabastan have to change, too?"

"I don't care what Rabastan does; he's Rodolphus's problem. Come with me."

Regulus pouted but followed Sirius down the hallway to the spare bedroom he was sleeping in. Sirius rummaged through the closet and dresser before finding some suitable casual clothes.

"Here, put these on and then go run around for a while. I want you nice and calm by dinner time."

"What're you making?" Regulus asked immediately while he slipped off his robes. He'd not yet developed any shyness around his brother. Sirius wondered how much longer he had; Regulus was almost a teenager.

"A surprise," said Sirius dully because he actually hadn't thought of anything yet.

Regulus pulled his shirt over his head and smoothed it down. "Rabastan's a vegetarian," he said.

"What now?" Sirius looked up from folding Regulus's robes.

"He isn't eating any meat," Regulus explained.

"Yes, all right whatever," muttered Sirius distractedly. He resisted the urge to straighten Regulus's clothes for him.

Regulus was the spitting image of his parents. He had Walburga's slim face and dark eyes, Orion's Arabic nose and long neck, you could have picked his family out of a crowd. Now dressed in an old pair of slacks and a dark t-shirt, Regulus looked much more relaxed than when he was tied up in those formal robes their father always put on him. Sirius smiled at his handiwork.

"Sirius?" Regulus pawed at his arm for attention. "May Rabastan and I go and play Quidditch?"

"Huh?" Sirius blinked. "Uh…I suppose you can take the brooms out of the closet, so long as you stay where I can see you from my study window."

Regulus frowned. "That's not a lot of room. The pitch is only a quarter mile past the trees," he pleaded.

"I know that, but I need to be able to glance over my shoulder and see exactly where you are. I can take you up to the field later when I've finished my work."

"It'll be dark by then," Regulus pouted.

"Yeah, dark like the room I'm going to lock you in if you don't stop arguing with me," Sirius said. He pushed Regulus towards the door. "Now get going, I've a lot of work to get back to…"

Sirius walked his brother down the hall, a hand on his shoulder. Regulus's gaze remained fixed on the floor. Sirius sighed.

"Regulus," he murmured. "I didn't mean to make you—"

"Is Father going to get better?" Regulus asked suddenly.

Sirius was taken aback. "What?" he said, a look of confusion on his face. "Of course he will. There's no reason he won't."

"He's sick a lot, though," Regulus pointed out.

"And so is Mother but she's still kicking around making me miserable."

"Never for this long, though, or this bad." Regulus's voice trembled.

"Dad will be fine, Reggie," Sirius squeezed his shoulder. "He'll be up and about, yelling at you about your grades and smacking you for talking too loudly before you know it, I promise."

"Mother says he might die."

"She's just trying to scare you," Sirius explained. "But you're too smart for that now aren't you?"

Regulus looked doubtful. He fidgeted about with the hem of his shirt.

"Go fly around for a bit," Sirius urged him. "You'll feel ten times better. And be ready to come in when I call you, because if I have to chase you down, I swear to god…"

Sirius watched Regulus and Rabastan dash outside, brooms in hand, and for a few minutes he even stared out the study window to be sure they were staying within eyesight. Soon after, he resigned himself back to his work.

Sirius was wrist-deep in banking numbers when he heard the front door slam. Immediately he swiveled around to look at his brother and cousin—they were busy taking turns trying to surf on their broomsticks. Perturbed, Sirius got up and dashed towards the source of the noise.

He hadn't made it to the entryway when he ran facefirst into someone he'd been certain he'd never see again.

"J-James?" he gasped, stepping back.

James Potter, wearing very serious grey robes and a frown to match, was standing over him, positively seething.

Sirius hadn't seen his old best friend for over half a year.

"What are you doing here?" he wheezed; James's arrival seemed to have knocked all the air from his lungs. "How did you find me here? This estate is unplottable."

"You sneaked me in here once during fourth year hols, _Sirius,_" James explained shortly. "I know exactly how to get here."

Sirius bit his lip as he remembered. Oh, what a fun prank it had seemed at the time, sneaking into his family's vacation home while they weren't there and bringing his friends along—now that was coming back to bite him.

"James, I…what do you want? You can't stay here." Sirius was suddenly terrified that Regulus or Rabastan would see James. Regulus he could probably persuade to keep quiet, but Rabastan hated Sirius, and would tell on him the first chance he got. If Sirius's parents thought he was still palling around with James then that would be it. His chances of ever being a true member of his family again would be over, as his parents largely blamed James Potter's influence for Sirius's rebellion and desertion.

"Want?" James yelled, pulling Sirius to him by his lapels. "What do I want? To talk to you, you fucker, that's what. I've been searching for you for months since you gave us the slip. I was about to give up until I finally got word that you'd be here alone for a few days."

"I'm not alone," Sirius countered immediately. "Rabastan and—"

"Your brother, yeah I know," snapped James. "I just mean there's no one here to stop me from talking to you."

"Talk to me?" Sirius asked nervously. He eased himself from James's grip and took a step back. "There's nothing to talk about James. I'm sure you hate me by now and that's understandable, but the world goes on."

"You think you're getting off that easily?" cried James. "After all I went through to find you, Sirius Black, you are going to give me the answers I want."

Sirius turned away from James. He bit his lip. He had wanted a clean break from it all, there was a reason he'd never invited conversation with James over this. James had always been able to talk Sirius into just about anything, if he started in on him now, who knew what Sirius might end up doing? He was in danger of losing everything he'd worked for these last few months, all because James Bloody Potter had shown up out of the blue to read him the riot act.

"I know the conversation you want to have, James, and you're not going to get the answers you want to hear. Why don't you just go home and forget about this. Leave me be."

James looked as though he would quite like to hit Sirius. He curled his hands into fists, but held his arms straight by his sides.

"You just up and disappeared, Sirius," he growled. "No telling anyone, no letter, no nothing. We were all so worried about you, we thought you'd been hurt!"

"Well as you can see, I'm fine," Sirius said. "So we can all just…forget about it, okay? I've got paperwork to finish up. The door's right behind you," Sirius gestured over James's shoulder and then turned resolutely around. He marched back into his study but before he could close the door, James slid in behind him.

"What have they done to you, Sirius?" James hissed. "Are you under some kind of spell?"

"No James," Sirius sighed bitterly. "I wanted to do this. I wanted to go home, is that so hard to believe?"

"Home?" James screeched. "Since when has any of this been your home, Sirius? You hated the lot of them! Your family made you nothing but miserable and then out of nowhere you just walk right back to them?"

"Stop it, James, you don't know what you're talking about."

"What don't I know? Sirius? Answer me," James ordered.

Sirius was looking out the window again, ignoring James for the moment. A few leaves tumbled across the green lawn, and several birds swooped low, skimming across the grass, but Regulus and Rabastan were nowhere to be seen. Sirius narrowed his eyes.

"Sirius," James shouted. "Are you even listening to me?"

"No," Sirius answered shortly. "James, I have to go for a second and find my brother. If you're intent on staying and hashing this out, then wait for me here."

With that Sirius left the room. He half expected James to continue hounding him, but his former best friend elected to stay put as Sirius had asked. Sirius jogged outside and immediately saw two broomsticks propped up against the back door. He frowned. He had assumed Regulus and Rabastan had headed up to the pitch but that must not be the case.

Sirius poked around in the large grove of trees that lay to the west of the house for a few minutes before he began calling for Regulus.

"Sirius?"

Sirius turned around and saw Rabastan tiptoe out from behind a London Plane tree. He had a gloomy look about his face and his hair and robes were full of twigs and sap.

"There you are, Rabastan," said Sirius coolly. "Where's Regulus?"

Rabastan pointed behind him. "Back by the house."

Sirius frowned again. "I didn't see him."

"He's around behind the deck. Don't tell him I told you where he was, he'd be angry. He's hiding from you."

Sirius was already walking quickly back to the building, not listening intently to what Rabastan was saying, but he still heard the last bit and stopped immediately. He pivoted around to face Rabastan.

"Hiding from me?" he asked incredulously. "Why in the world would he do that?"

Rabastan only shrugged, but his demeanor told Sirius he knew more than he was letting on. Sirius figured he'd have better luck getting answers from his brother.

"Go on inside and take a quick shower, Rabastan," he suggested. "Then start thinking of something easy I can make for dinner that you'll be able to eat."

Rabastan nodded and Sirius set off again. He could only hope James wouldn't leave the study and that Rabastan wouldn't (for whatever reason) enter.

Sirius found his brother sitting on the steps to the deck, one arm laid out in his lap and the other fidgeting with his wand. His face was pale and damp with sweat. Sirius kneeled down next to him and Regulus started.

"What's up, Reggie? I was looking for you."

Regulus leaned away from him, looking as though he were contemplating running off. Sirius set a hand firmly on his brother's leg just to be on the safe side.

Regulus eventually heaved a sigh and pocketed his wand. "I think I've broken my arm," he said forlornly.

Sirius's eyes widened and he reached out to take hold of Regulus's left forearm. Regulus let out a cry when Sirius touched him and jerked himself away.

"Shush, calm down, let me see." Sirius gently took hold of his brother again. "How did you manage this, Regulus? Did you fall off your broom?" he asked, knowing full well the answer was no. If that had been what happened, Regulus and Rabastan would have come inside immediately and found him. They would not have carefully set their brooms against the wall and then wandered off.

"No, I didn't," Regulus admitted, and Sirius mentally gave his brother credit for not trying to lie when the opportunity was right there. "We were exploring around in that little forest beyond the grove and I sort of took a tumble down a steep hill."

Sirius gently plucked a leaf from Regulus's hair. "I'd believe that," he chuckled. Then his eyes narrowed just a little. "Reg you weren't thinking of trying to fix your arm on you own, now were you?"

Regulus looked down. "I didn't want you to find out," he admitted. "Look at me, I'm completely covered in leaves and scratched up from rocks, there was no way you'd believe I hurt myself flying around in the yard. You'd know we left and you'd be mad."

Sirius rubbed a hand up and down Regulus's back to calm him down. "Okay, so I'd be a little cross with you for gallivanting off when I told you to stay put. That's not the end of the world, Regulus, and I can fix your arm quickly and safely."

Regulus looked at him with wide eyes. "I didn't want you to hate me again," he said in a small voice.

Sirius felt a hot mess of guilt and shame grow around his heart, sitting heavy in his chest. It destroyed any ounce of anger he might have felt towards Regulus at the moment. "This is my fault," he murmured. He'd run out on his family once, and now Regulus had the idea that Sirius would leave again at the slightest provocation. Sirius had no one to blame but himself for that, and had a strong urge to reassure Regulus that he wouldn't be leaving just because of a minor argument. He didn't, though, and instead only pulled his brother to his feet and led him back inside.

"Let's get you in the house and taken care of, Reg. Give me a few minutes and I'll have you good as new."

Despite everything, Sirius did know Regulus, and he knew his brother was not one to put much stock in words. It was actions that mattered. Sirius would be better off _showing_ Regulus that he wasn't about to leave him again.

"Are you going to take us home early?" Regulus asked. "Can I still have dinner tonight?"

Sirius laughed and set Regulus down on one of the couches in the sitting room. "No, we're staying here the whole weekend just like I promised, and of course you're going to have supper with us tonight. Starving you is Dad's punishment, not mine."

"No one ever _starved_ me," Regulus said quietly. Sirius was gently massaging his arm, tying to ascertain exactly where the break was.

"Well no matter how you feel about it, I'd never withhold a meal from you. Regulus, where does it hurt most, here or down lower?"

Regulus, who was by this point looking very ashen in the face, pointed shakily to the very middle of his forearm. Frowning, Sirius felt there again but could find no sign of a break. Regulus cried out loudly, though, and fresh tears started streaming down his face.

"Well shit," Sirius exclaimed. "I think you've managed to land yourself with a green stick fracture, Reggie. I'm going to need you to hold very still, okay? Fixing these is a little tricky."

Regulus whimpered but ceased all fidgeting and allowed Sirius to work. Ten minutes and three charms later, the cracks down his radius and ulna healed over and only a dull throbbing remained.

"You should feel good as new in a few hours," Sirius told him kindly. "There are some painkillers in the bathroom, want me to go get them for you?"

Regulus shook his head and Sirius sighed exasperatedly.

"Regulus you can take the medicine, really. I'm not angry at you."

Regulus gave him a doubtful look.

"Regulus I promise you I am not mad," Sirius said. He put a hand firmly on each of Regulus's shoulders. "If I tell you you're to go to bed early tonight will you please stop punishing yourself?"

Regulus's shoulders slumped in that way they always did when he admitted defeat. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Let's go get some dinner started," he said, helping Regulus up.

"Thanks for fixing my arm, Sirius," Regulus said earnestly. Sirius ruffled his hair in response.

"That's what big brothers are for," he said.

"Yes it is," came a voice from the doorway. Sirius started and looked up to see James leaning against the wall.

"James," he hissed. "I thought you—"

"I reckon I at least deserved some dinner after all the trouble I went through to track you down," James said snarkily, but he was looking at the two brothers fondly and smiling a little.

Regulus didn't acknowledge James's presence. He leaned dependently into Sirius's side.

Sirius took Regulus into the kitchen and James followed. Sirius didn't fight with him about it. He'd abandoned the possibility of keeping James's arrival a secret.

Sirius took some sugar from the cabinet and starting mixing fruit drinks. He set Regulus to work chopping ingredients for salads. James sat himself at the table and watched with mild interest.

Rabastan joined them a few minutes later, hair still wet and clothes clinging tightly to his damp skin.

"Who's this?" he asked, rudely pointing at James.

Surprisingly it was Regulus who answered. "One of Sirius's old friends," he chirped. "He's having dinner with us."

Rabastan made no further inquiries. Instead he sat down and waited for Sirius to pass him a drink.

"Regulus be careful with that knife please," Sirius begged.

"Yessir," Regulus hollered from the counter.

They ate lightly; Sirius had never been much of a cook and having to work around Rabastan's restrictive diet was a huge nuisance. Although Regulus did explain further to him that the vegetarianism was a health issue. Apparently Rabastan had developed some kind of allergy to most kinds of meat, rare for how old he was but not unheard of. This made more sense to Sirius than the notion that the Lestranges had recently become animal lovers.

"So Sirius," said James while they all crunched their salads. "What possessed you to round up these two and come all the way out here? More places to hide the bodies?" he joked.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Just needed some fresh air, James," he said levelly. "Reg and I needed some time away from home and Regulus wanted to bring…a friend."

"Oh really? But I thought you were just itching to spend time with your parents again?" James said sarcastically. "I mean you threw away everything to go crawling back to them. What happened? They still the same massive cunts as before?"

"They are not cunts!" Regulus screamed. Sirius cuffed him hard.

"Watch your mouth, Regulus," he ordered. "The last thing I need is you spouting off in front of everyone when we get back and me getting blamed for it."

Regulus hunkered low, looking dejected. Sirius put an arm around him, patting him gently by way of apology. Hitting Regulus, however lightly, was probably not a good idea.

James narrowed his eyes and they finished their dinner, speaking of nothing more important than the hot, humid weather.

* * *

That evening found Sirius back in the sitting room, lounging on the couch opposite James's. A chess board was set up on the coffee table between them. Rabastan had gone to bed early, bored by James and Sirius's adult talk and aggravated that he was not allowed to go outside in the dark. Regulus was asleep in Sirius's lap.

"And just what do you call that move?" James demanded.

"I call it 'that thing where I haven't moved my king or castle yet so they get to switch around'," Sirius replied. "Your move."

James slid his queen across the board.

"You stood me up, you know," he said. "We panicked when you didn't show up to the wedding. Cancelled the whole thing to look for you and where did we find you? Snuggled up with mummy and daddy…and little brother." James's eyes flickered briefly to Regulus, who fidgeted in his sleep. Sirius placed a gentle hand on his brother's face to still him.

"Not so much as a word of warning," James said.

Sirius toyed with the idea of taking James's bishop. He twirled his rook around in his fingers.

"What would I have said?" he asked. "There wasn't a letter in the world that would have made you understand."

"We rescheduled the wedding, you know, Lily and I," James said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh really?" Sirius marveled. "I'd have thought you would have gotten on with it by now. It's been months…close to a year…"

James shrugged. "You wait for the right time with these things…"

Sirius nodded. "Your move," he said, dramatically knocking over James's bishop with his castle.

* * *

James stayed the night. Sirius couldn't and wouldn't stop him. Regulus had Sirius awake at the break of dawn, begging him to take him up to the Quidditch pitch.

"Please, Sirius, we never got to go yesterday," Regulus begged, pulling at Sirius's arm. Sirius groaned and tried to roll over and go back to sleep.

"No, Regulus, go back to bed, it's barely light out."

"Come on, Sirius, Rabstan is already outside. He said he's going up to play whether I go or not," Regulus crawled onto Sirius's bed and poked at his side.

"Fine then," Sirius grumbled into his pillow. Even as tired as he was, he took a moment to admire Regulus's determination to stick to a rule Sirius had randomly thought up and then thrown at him the prior evening. "Problem solved. Rabastan will play Quidditch by himself and you'll go back to bed."

"How come he can do whatever he wants and I can't?" Regulus pouted.

"Because if Rabastan falls forty feet and cracks his skull, I don't give a fuck, but you I'd rather have in one piece," Sirius reached blindly for his brother and caught him around the neck. He pulled him down onto the bed. Regulus landed with a thump and laughed.

"I still have so much work to finish today," Sirius said with a sigh.

Regulus looked away. "That's fine," he said sadly. "I don't mind, I can stay in and read."

"Oh, we can't have that!" Sirius sat up and put on an exaggerated look of shock. "Next you know, you'll be developing an attention span," he chuckled. "Give me twenty minutes to shower and dress and I'll bring you out to the pitch."

Regulus beamed. "Will you play with me?" he asked. "You haven't flown with me since before I started school."

Sirius grinned guiltily. "Sure. I think you and I could take Rabastan."

"Now that's not fair."

Regulus and Sirius looked around to see James leaning in the doorway. Regulus looked away from him almost immediately. Sirius, however, stared intently.

"Well get up then, Sirius," James ordered. "You're late for an arse-kicking."

Sirius caught James by the arm as the two of them walked outside, brooms in hand (Regulus had scampered on ahead some time ago).

"Play fair," Sirius growled in James's ear. "Be friendly. If you so much as think about using this game as an excuse to hurt Regulus, I'll kill you."

James actually laughed. "A year ago he could have been dead in a ditch and you wouldn't have cared."

"That was never true!" hissed Sirius, gripping his broom handle so tightly his fingers turned white.

"Don't lie to yourself," James said. "And it doesn't mean you don't care about him _now_, after all you are the master of flipping your loyalties."

"You act like I've betrayed you!" Sirius yelled.

"Well you have," insisted James.

"I betrayed my family," Sirius countered. "And I'm in the process of righting that, can't you figure that out?"

"You are unbelievable," James said.

Sirius crashed through the undergrowth along the path that led to the pitch. James followed closely behind. "No," he said. "You're just an ignorant prick."

"Excuse me?" James scoffed.

"You're an only child through and through, James, _everything's_ about you, isn't it?"

"Shut up," James screamed. "I think I have the right to be ticked off at you, you—"

Sirius stopped walking abruptly and stretched out a hand to catch James across the chest and silence him. From a short ways up the path, Regulus was staring at them with horrified eyes.

Sirius left James to dash up to his brother. "Go on ahead, Regulus," he whispered. "Go meet up with Rabastan, we'll be along in a second."

"You're not going to fight, are you?" asked Regulus fearfully. It was clear by his tone that when he said fight, he meant more than just vocally. "That's not what I wanted, I thought you'd be…"

Sirius kissed his brother's forehead and his sentence trailed off. "No one's going to fight," he promised. "Just go on."

Sirius gave Regulus a push, and the younger Black reluctantly dashed on ahead. Sirius gave him a larger headstart this time.

James approached Sirius slowly. Sirius turned angrily to face him.

"You were moving on with your life, James," he hissed angrily. "And that's a good thing, but I couldn't go along for the ride. You wanted to know why I came back here? Well now you do."

James shook his head. "So it's my fault?" he asked incredulously. "I decide to get married and suddenly we can't be friends anymore?"

"No, James, we could have been, but I need more than just friends. I need a family, too."

"We are your family," James said emphatically.

"No, James, you have your own family. You have your parents, Lily, her parents, all your aunts and uncles…I can't just be the outsider who sits in on your family dinners for the rest of my life. Even that was drifting away. It was sweet of your parents to let me stay at your house when I left home, but I never kidded myself into thinking it was permanent. Did it never occur to you that I have no desire to wake up one morning and realize I have no one to fall back on?"

"Sirius, you're talking like you were somehow in the way," James said, bewildered. "You know that wasn't true."

"Maybe," Sirius admitted. "But I was constantly worried that it was, and that alone was proof enough that I'd never be truly comfortable pretending to be your brother."

James swallowed hard.

"I still don't see why you thought you had to cut off all ties with us like this," he said in an extremely hurt voice.

Sirius only shrugged. "I thought it was the only way to ensure my parents took me seriously."

"So you chose them over me? You thought you could only have one, and you picked Walburga and the dying Orion Black."

Sirius nodded. "Don't act like it was a decision I made lightly."

Sirius broke through the last of the weeds and burst out onto the mowed lawn of the Quidditch pitch. James emerged seconds after him.

"It was time for me to stop borrowing your family, James," said Sirius, squinting up at the bright, rising sun. "I needed to have one of my own again."

Before James could answer, Sirius took off. With a huff, James followed him.

Regulus and Rabastan had been practicing catching and throwing the quaffle.

"How're we doing this?" James hollered.

"First to two hundred wins," Sirius yelled back. "Snitch is only worth fifty, and the losers have to make lunch."

"We've got a snitch with us?" Regulus asked, amazed.

Sirius pulled it from his pocket and threw it high in the air. "I've got you covered, little brother," he chuckled.

Rabastan and Regulus went head to head for the snitch, leaving Sirius and James to largely play one on one. To make things work, Sirius bewitched the quaffle to rocket from a person's grip after several seconds, and also to bounce around off thin air, enabling them to make passes to themselves.

Regulus caught the snitch less than twenty minutes in, which didn't surprise his brother. Regulus hadn't been drafted onto the Slytherin team in his second year just for his looks.

That put Regulus and Sirius steadily in the lead early on, and they remained there for the rest of the game.

"Here, Reg," Sirius called, chucking the quaffle to his brother. Regulus put it through the tallest hoop with ease to win.

Rabastan instantly tackled his cousin out of the air and the two of them landed playfully on the ground.

Sirius paused to make sure Regulus had landed okay and that he and Rabastan were just joking around. Once he was sure, he turned to James, who was holding the quaffle and staring down at the two boys as well.

"I suppose we can go inside now," he said. He opened his mouth to say more, but Sirius crashed into him, took the quaffle and threw it through the hoop again.

James let out a brief cry of rage, and the two of them started playing one on one again. Below them, Regulus and Rabastan sat cross-legged on the sidelines watching.

Sirius lost track of how long he and James stayed up there, taking turns scoring goals and slapping the ball from each other's hands. Sometime later while Sirius watched the quaffle soar through his goal, he heard James's voice in his ear.

"I understand what you meant earlier, Sirius. I know you, and you must have seen some good reason to come back to these people, I just wasn't sure what it was."

Before Sirius could fly off after their quaffle, James took a firm hold of his broom, trapping him. Confused, Sirius followed James's line of sight.

A man was walking up to the pitch, dressed in a long black cloak despite the summer heat. Orion Black was up and walking about again. Truth be told, Sirius hadn't been certain he'd pull through this time, despite what he'd told his sibling. Regulus immediately bounded up and crashed over to his father.

"I thought I might find you all here," Orion said, wrapping his arms around Regulus. His voice was faint, but a slight breeze helped carry it up to James and Sirius. "Have you been having fun with your brother, Regulus?"

James watched them all intently. "It's important to hang on to the people you're losing, isn't it? If in the end you can convince yourself you spent all the time with them you could…" he murmured.

Sirius watched his brother excitedly relate everything he'd done over the weekend.

"You should get down there," James continued.

Sirius nodded.

"Oh and Sirius?"

"Yes?"

James closed his eyes and laughed a little. "Sometimes when you really care about someone, you're willing to give them away."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

James looked at him carefully.

"It was Regulus who told me I could find you here."

* * *

/signed/ tenkuroi


End file.
